Chelsea Handler Joins the Beast’s ‘Childless Cat Lady’ Power List (2024)

Don’t f*ck with cats, and certainly don’t f*ck with “childless cat ladies.” It’s a truth Republican vice presidential candidate J. D. Vance has been learning the hard way in recent days, after comments he made during a 2021 interview with Tucker Carlson resurfaced online.

In the interview, he described Democratic politicians and leaders as “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made... the entire future of the Democrats is controlled by people without children.”

Vance has since received criticism from all over: from Jennifer Aniston to Gabby Giffords, as well as cat lovers, women who’ve struggled to start a family, quick-to-pounce Democrats and many more. But the extent of the ire he may have awoken is perhaps yet to be fully understood, especially considering the cultural pull of those who could be proudly among the “childless cat lady” lobby. It will likely take more than catnip to calm these power players down, and rightly so:

Chelsea Handler

The outspoken comedian, late-night host and producer joined the ranks of cat-loving childless celebrities and flamed Vance in a video posted to X, formerly known as Twitter, on Sunday. “To put it in women hating you'll understand,” she said, addressing the GOP vice presidential pick. “You’re being hysterical.” Handler’s fur baby, however, isn’t a feline. She is an adopted mom to Doug, the 8 year old Chow Chow.

Putting species aside, the comedian quipped in her post “all of us childless cat and dog ladies are going to go from childless and crushing it, to childless and crushing you in November.”

Taylor Swift

Childless Cat Lady-in-Chief, Swift is one of the most famous people on earth and a proud mom to three cats: two Scottish Folds named Meredith Grey and Olivia Benson, and a Ragdoll named Benjamin Button who even appeared alongside the singer on her 2023 TIME magazine “Person of the Year” cover.

Swift publicly supported Joe Biden and Kamala Harris in the 2020 election; while she has yet to back a candidate this year, she loves a good clapback. As one user on X put it, “hell hath no fury like a certain childless cat lady who has yet to endorse a presidential candidate."

Enya

The “Orinoco Flow” singer rules over a veritable queendom of cats from her Dublin castle. Having previously described love and marriage as “the most horrific thing that could happen” to her, Enya’s reclusive lifestyle today involves singing in Elvish and fraternizing near-exclusively with her feline friends. Hashtag living the dream.

Gloria Steinem

Long before hot pink “puss* hats,” Gloria Steinem had embraced feline feminism. In the 1970s, her black cat had a backseat view of the modern feminist movement as it took shape in the writer and activist’s New York City apartment. Perhaps the only thing more terrifying to J. D. Vance than a childless cat lady, after all, is a radical feminist childless cat lady?

And a literary bonus: For fellow wordsmith Joyce Carol Oates, cats remain a potent muse, serving as the subject of many odes, essays and children’s books. The award-winning author often tweets from the perspective of her kitty Zanche, and wrote in her memoir: “We must rejoice in our elusive catness.”

Carly Rae Jepsen

Long an embodiment of hippy-dippy cat lady gay icon vibes, singer Carly Rae Jepsen’s feelings for cats cut so deep that they’ve stretched into her art: Her “Now That I Found You” music video revolves around the cat lady trope. Are you even a cat lady if you don’t sing to your kitty kids, after all?

Beth Stern

Beth Stern, author and wife of radio personality Howard Stern, may not have biological children, but she is the modern-day feline Mother Teresa. The actress and animal rights activist has rescued more than 2,000 cats and kittens, and recently helped establish a feline adoption and rehabilitation center at the world’s largest no-kill shelter and rescue organization, North Shore Animal League America.

“I often say that my fosters and resident cats ‘have my heart,’” Stern wrote in a 2023 blog post for the league. “What I mean, of course, is that I love them. But also that they give me purpose and the strength to do the work I love so much.”

Also renowned for her cat advocacy, kitten foster mom status and a long-running relationship with California-based non-profit Kitty Rescue Los Angeles is Miranda Cosgrove. The Disney actress named her latest foster John Wick, by the way, so she’s not f*cking around.

Doja Cat

Honestly, it’s right there in her name. (Not to mention that she dressed up as a cat for the 2023 Met Gala—more on that to come, because it wasn’t just any cat either.)

Still in the musical stakes, let’s not forget Kesha, who told Rolling Stone last year that she hopes to be reincarnated as a house cat in her next life. Kesha also called out Vance’s comments forcefully in an interview with TMZ: “f*ck that man,” the singer said. And not like you would a couch.

Kate McKinnon

Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon shares the spotlight—literally—with her senior cat Nino, who has often made cameos in her sketches. The 17-pound feline is, McKinnon has said, “the funniest person” she has ever met. She refers to her furry friend as both her “son” and her “cat husband.” (Classic boy cat mom behavior.)

Martha Stewart

Yes, Martha Stewart has a child (daughter Alexis) but there’s no denying the power of her status as a quintessentially opulent cat lady. Technically, a cat lady can have kids and still embody the slur as Vance sees it. After all, in her truest form, the cat lady can never be childless—her cats are her children! Stewart’s beloved pets, and her need to talk about them (also a core “cat lady” value) warrant an official category on her personal blog. The less said about poor Princess Peony, though, the better.

Combined with testy feelings—dare we say “bad blood”—for Vance’s running mate Donald Trump that date back to their days as dueling Apprentice hosts and, well, the claws are out.

Jonathan Van Ness

And yes, the “cat lady” aesthetic can also defy gender norms. Non-binary Queer Eye star Jonathan Van Ness is currently a cat parent to a Fab Five of his own. And he’s totes besties with former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

Related: A moment for some other proud “childless cat men” out there: Marc Maron, “Squid Game” star Gong Yoo, Ben Whishaw and, of course, the late Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld. Lagerfeld’s Birman cat featured in fashion campaigns, inspired Lagerfeld’s designs, and was the subject of a 2014 coffee table photo book. The cat reportedly even inherited some of his estate after his death in 2019, to ensure no disruption to her life of coddled luxury.

Perhaps realizing the extent of his feline faux pas, Vance tried to walk back his criticisms, at least towards cats themselves, in an interview Friday with Megyn Kelly—who is a dog mom, just saying. Vance labeled the comments “sarcastic,” and added that he has “nothing against cats.” (He did, however, continue to claim that the broader substance of his argument, couched in misogyny as it was, remains true nonetheless.)

Much like a cat’s response at mealtime, though, it was almost certainly too little, too late.

Chelsea Handler Joins the Beast’s ‘Childless Cat Lady’ Power List (2024)
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